Welcome to DifficultAdoption.com

We’ve all heard touching stories of successful easy adoptions; many of us have experienced those, praise God!

But rarely do you hear about the challenges of adoption. Parents are often too sad, frustrated or discouraged to talk about the failures, difficulties and heartbreak. I understand. But there’s freedom in honesty and truth. Potential adoptive parents have a right to the whole story . . .

ThisMeansWarbookcoverNew.jpg (142007 bytes)AVAILABLE SOON:

 

THIS MEANS WAR: Equipping Christian Families for

Fostercare or Adoption,

by Cheryl Ellicott

 

"THIS MEANS WAR" is a Biblical look at adoption and foster care. 

If you've never thought of adoption as missions or a ministry, you will after reading This Means War.  

Projected release date is TBA, 2010
Happy, successful adoptions are a reality. In these adoptions, both child and adoptive parents have a deep and abiding bond for the other; their parenting challenges are no different from that of any biological parent.

This Means War focuses more on adopting the difficult (or troubled) child; however, it also gives you a better chance of choosing the less difficult, if you wish to. By knowing circumstances to beware of (before you adopt) you’re prepared to make informed choices.

The first thing you must know is that most adoptable children have lasting developmental, psychological or emotional disabilities and challenges. Yes, even the healthy ones.

If a child has already been labeled with a disability, they’re exhibiting obvious, pronounced symptoms. But most children who go through the adoption system are either too young, or too transient (haven’t been with one caregiver long enough) to be accurately evaluated. Therefore a majority of the children adopted out as "perfectly healthy" will manifest some disabilities and challenges as you live with them.

Why weren't all parents told this? Many of us went in to adoption completely unprepared; we struggled and learned everything the hard way. We could have been spared seasons of believing we were failures, if only we’d known what was going on. We were already experienced, good parents. We couldn’t understand why all of our parenting methods failed with these children.

The families who’ve shared in This Means War have mild stories, compared with many that I know. I wish the other parents could share, but they’re not ready. They entered adoption wearing rose-colored glasses. They were close-knit, happy families – some already had well-adjusted biological children. These parents were excited, perhaps idealistically so, and were going to save a child! Now many are divorced, their biological children have been abused and molested and in some cases, even taken away from them because their homes became unsafe. They didn’t realize they were going into battle.

If you’re planning to adopt, please, go slowly. Don't jump in the deep end before you can swim; don't bite off more than you can chew ...plus any other cliché's that might apply. And be sure you read This Means War.

 

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What's inside

"THIS MEANS WAR"?

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PART ONE: THE PARENTS

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST THE BAD NEWS: Spiritual Warfare and adoption as a ministry

CHAPTER TWO: NOW THE GOOD NEWS: Practical tips for overcoming difficulties of adoption parenting

CHAPTER THREE: HARNESSING YOUR BIG HEART: Know what to expect when fostering or adopting

CHAPTER FOUR: TRADING IN YOUR TOAD: The importance of a strong marriage in adoption  

PART TWO: THE ADOPTABLE CHILDREN

CHAPTER FIVE: GOD’S CHILDREN: Understanding the origins of your child

CHAPTER SIX: PRENATAL VIOLENCE: Basics of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum

CHAPTER SEVEN: NATURE, NURTURE & NIGHTMARES: Understanding the effects of neglect or abuse

CHAPTER EIGHT: HOMEMADE GLUE FOR UNATTACHED CHILDREN: Dealing with the challenges of an unbonded child

PART THREE: WAR STORIES

CHAPTER NINE: THE HOSPICE SURVIVOR

CHAPTER TEN: MY ADOPTION KINSHIP STORY

CHAPTER ELEVEN: SUPERMOM MEETS FETAL ALCOHOL

ADOPTION GLOSSARY:

BIBLE BASICS:

 

 

"Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds — his name is the LORD— and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." (Psalm 68:4-6 NIV)

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27 NIV)

"For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." (Deuteronomy 10:17-18 NIV)

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." (Psalm 82:3-4 NIV)

 

 

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