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Welcome to DifficultAdoption.com

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THIS MEANS WAR: Preparing Christian Families for Adoption,

by C. Ellicott

"THIS MEANS WAR" is a Biblical look at adoption and foster care. If you've never thought of adoption as missions or a ministry, you will after reading This Means War.

Excerpt from THIS MEANS WAR: Preparing Christian Families for Adoption

Letter to a Junkie

I don't know your name, though I may have seen your face. Sometimes I take a wrong turn and cruise by the rumpled people sleeping in Tucson's alleys and that place we call Needle Park.

I'd call you if I could, or send a card. Message in a bottle--whatever it took. But I can't. You didn't leave your name.

So, Mr. Anonymous Junkie who wasn't at the crack house anymore when the cops answered your call, thank you.

I've a button-nosed toddler here who owes you her life. She's my foster daughter, but not for long. Soon I'll sign adoption papers and she'll wear my name. She already has my heart. My chubby, little girl who loves to read books and draw pictures of kittens. Kittens in bright pinks, greens and smiling yellow.

But she wasn't that way when you saved her.

"I never did this before," you said when you called 911. "But there's a kid over here, a baby. You got to come for her."

Since children might read this letter, I won't repeat what you said your buddy was doing to her . . . Thinking about it makes my gut burn and fists clench. So I try not to think about it. I pray she'll have an easier time forgetting.

And even though you weren't in your right mind, you knew enough to make the call.

"We partied with her mom," you said. "Then she took off with another dude, left the baby here. Says she'll be right back. Like, days ago. We're messed up; babies don't need this life."

I want you to know she's doing much better now. She doesn't always have that terrified, wild animal look anymore. Sometimes, yes; but not all the time. It's been months since the last time I found her digging through the trash looking for something to eat. She's learning to trust, trying to play. The monsoon storms terrified her at first, but we held hands while the thunder bellowed and then we played in the rain.

Well, I played. She watched, then splashed with hesitation for awhile, but later she smiled. Eventually she even laughed. It was beautiful.

Because of what you did, she's going to be ok.

A lot of people say, "I'm no saint" like that's their excuse. They could learn a lesson from you, Sir. Nobody's so far gone that God can't use them for good. If they're still soft enough to hear that voice--you know, the silent one that screams when something's not right; Help that person!--then they can do something about it.

That's all I wanted to say really.

I'm just sitting here while the cool night falls over the desert and the clouds are black as sin. I've a fire in the hearth, my feet up on the couch and a sweet toddler tucked into my lap. We're sitting here thinking of you. Thanking God for you. Knowing your life would probably be different if someone had picked up the phone, gotten you some help when you were little. We're wondering where you are tonight.

The rain's coming down now.

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What's inside

"THIS MEANS WAR"?

TABLE OF CONTENTS

INTRODUCTION

PART ONE: THE PARENTS

CHAPTER ONE: FIRST THE BAD NEWS: Spiritual Warfare and adoption as a ministry

CHAPTER TWO: NOW THE GOOD NEWS: Practical tips for overcoming difficulties of adoption parenting

CHAPTER THREE: HARNESSING YOUR BIG HEART: Know what to expect when fostering or adopting

CHAPTER FOUR: TRADING IN YOUR TOAD: The importance of a strong marriage in adoption

PART TWO: THE ADOPTABLE CHILDREN

CHAPTER FIVE: GOD’S CHILDREN: Understanding the origins of your child

CHAPTER SIX: PRENATAL VIOLENCE: Basics of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum

CHAPTER SEVEN: HOMEMADE GLUE FOR UNATTACHED CHILDREN: Understanding the challenges of the unbonded child

PART THREE: WAR STORIES

CHAPTER EIGHT: THE HOSPICE SURVIVOR

MORE coming soon

ADOPTION GLOSSARY:

BIBLE BASICS:

"Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds — his name is the LORD— and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." (Psalm 68:4-6 NIV)

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27 NIV)

"For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." (Deuteronomy 10:17-18 NIV)

"Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." (Psalm 82:3-4 NIV)

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