Welcome to Difficult Adoption .com

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Welcome to DifficultAdoption.com

We’ve all heard touching stories of successful easy adoptions; many of us have experienced those, praise God! But rarely do you hear about the challenges of adoption. Many of us have those stories as well. We usually keep quiet about them. We’re too sad, frustrated, discouraged or ashamed to talk about the failures, difficulties and heartbreak. I understand. But there’s freedom in honesty and truth. I believe potential adoptive parents have a right to the whole story . . .

Email Webmaster	AVAILABLE SOON: "THIS MEANS WAR: Preparing Christian Families For Adoption" "This Means War" is a BIBLICAL look at adoption, foster care and parenting under these special circumstances. This is a must-read book for all Christian families considering adoption, or who are parenting adopted children! lf you’re going to succeed in adoption, you must first realize the significance of your actions in the spirit world. I invite you to read the excerpts below.
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What's inside "This Means War"? TABLE OF CONTENTS INTRODUCTION PART ONE: THE PARENTS CHAPTER ONE: FIRST THE BAD NEWS: Spiritual Warfare and adoption as a ministry CHAPTER TWO: NOW THE GOOD NEWS: Practical tips for overcoming difficulties of adoption parenting CHAPTER THREE: HARNESSING YOUR BIG HEART: Know what to expect when fostering or adopting CHAPTER FOUR: TRADING IN YOUR TOAD: The importance of a strong marriage in adoption PART TWO: THE ADOPTABLE CHILDREN CHAPTER FIVE: GOD’S CHILDREN: Understanding the origins of your child CHAPTER SIX: PRENATAL VIOLENCE: Basics of Fetal Alcohol Spectrum CHAPTER SEVEN: HOMEMADE GLUE FOR UNATTACHED CHILDREN: Understanding the challenges of the unbonded child PART THREE: WAR STORIES CHAPTER EIGHT: THE HOSPICE SURVIVOR MORE coming soon ADOPTION GLOSSARY: NOW ONLINE. CLICK HERE coming soon BIBLE BASICS: NOW ONLINE. CLICK HERE coming soon	EXCERPT: INTRODUCTION THIS MEANS WAR: Preparing Christian Families For Adoption By Cheryl Ellicott, copyright 2008. All rights reserved. Do not copy or reproduce. INTRODUCTION This book is meant to educate, equip and protect adoptive families, so they in turn can protect the homeless children of the world. The book is geared toward parents, but I pray it will also bring encouragement and understanding to those who were adopted as children. If you’re a family or individual hoping to adopt, or have recently adopted, chances are the adoption agency didn’t give you enough information to prepare you for success. This book is a compilation of things I’ve learned and also stories shared with me by other adoptive families. Since 1989 I’ve worked with approximately 50 children; Mike and I were house-parents to about 25+- teens and pre-teens in crisis in a long-term shelter, foster parents to an additional twenty-five+- infants and toddlers in our home in subsequent years and we adopted three special needs children through the foster care system (in addition to our three biological children). Mike spent over fifteen years working with adults with disabilities and we did in-home care for that population as well. In 2001 I founded “Specialmom”, a support group for foster and adoptive parents. The group is still active today. Through this little family of likeminded parents, I’ve been encouraged as an adoptive mother and as a believer. I hope you also find a supportive group to hold you up in prayer and encourage you on this quest. In the meantime, I pray this book will prepare you to stand firm and be used mightily for the Kingdom of God. Without information and preparation, too many have waltzed in over their heads, fallen and seen their families damaged. If the focus of this book seems negative, that should offset the fact that you’re probably wearing rose-colored glasses. You’re most likely already envisioning the joy and success of loving an unloved child. You know it’s more blessed to give than to receive. You believe God’s version of love never fails. You expect you’ll reap a harvest if you continue to do good and do not give up. I want to prepare you for the fight to come, in hopes that you’ll persevere long enough to see that harvest. "You have persevered and have endured hardships for my name, and have not grown weary. Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love." (Rev 2:3-4) If you learn only one thing from this book, let it be this: It's easy to get caught up in the work of a humanitarian and forget our main objective in life is to love God with all our heart, mind, body and soul. The only way to succeed in life is to remain as a branch connected to the vine [Jesus]. Keep your relationship with God through Jesus as the most important thing - the ONLY thing that matters - and he will pour out his spirit on the children....in his time. “Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:30-31 NIV) (end of INTRODUCTION)
~ WANT TO READ CHAPTERS ONE AND TWO? CLICK HERE! ~
Have a story to share? We're currently accepting submissions of true post-adoption stories for inclusion in "This Means War". If you have a story of post-adoption that you believe would help prepare parents, and you would like more information about submitting your story - please email the webmaster. ~*~ Website under construction. Check back soon!	(EXCERPT from CHAPTER FIVE below) CHAPTER FIVE GOD’S CHILDREN Happy, successful adoptions, of healthy, emotionally stable children definitely are a reality. In these adoptions, both child and adoptive parents immediately sprout a deep and abiding bond for the other; their parenting challenges are no different than that of any biological parent. This book focuses more on adopting the difficult child; however, it also gives you a better chance of choosing the less difficult, if you wish to. By knowing circumstances to beware of (before you adopt) you’re prepared to make informed choices. The following could be considered green flags: * The child is adopted very young, (as an infant or toddler). * If not an infant, the child has been lovingly nurtured from the moment of birth, and they have a bond to their caregiver. (Child was not in an institution with changing/rotating employees; was not transient with multiple, temporary caregivers.) * The child’s needs were always met; they never felt the need to protect themselves or fight to survive. * The child’s biological parents did not have inherited mental illness, mental deficit or severe emotional instability. * The baby did not suffer any prenatal exposure to alcohol (or drugs). If the adoptable child fits all of the above green flags, the outlook is very positive. For example: If a young, but stable/intelligent, healthy mother (non-drinker, non-smoker etc.) gives up a child (at birth) simply because she doesn’t feel ready to raise a baby, the outlook for that child is very good. OR If you adopt from a country that has little to no substance abuse problem, and if the baby has one-on-one love and nurturing from the moment of birth until they’re put in your arms, problems will likely be minimal. But for children born into other situations, they and their adoptive parents should prepare for challenges above and beyond those of typical parenting . . . (Also in this chapter: Open adoption verses closed adoption? What about the sins of the fathers being visited upon their children? What about preserving cultural roots?) The chances your adopted child will suffer negative effects of alcohol exposure depend upon the country of their birth. Visit this website for a color-coded map of alcohol abuse by country: www.who.int/substance_abuse/facts/alcohol/en/index.html ("THIS MEANS WAR" will be available soon)
"Sing to God, sing praise to his name, extol him who rides on the clouds — his name is the LORD— and rejoice before him. A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land." (Psalm 68:4-6 NIV) "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." (James 1:27 NIV) "For the LORD your God is God of gods and Lord of lords, the great God, mighty and awesome, who shows no partiality and accepts no bribes. He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." (Deuteronomy 10:17-18 NIV) "Defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed. Rescue the weak and needy; deliver them from the hand of the wicked." (Psalm 82:3-4 NIV)

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