CHAPTER ONE

First, the BAD NEWS:

In the spiritual realm, Christian adoption is a declaration of war; you’re challenging an enemy who is stronger and smarter than you.

First and foremost, if you’re going to succeed in adoption, you must realize the significance of your actions in the spirit world. By adopting, you and your family are storming the gates of hell, rescuing little souls to bring them to safety and the light of the truth. Your only weapons are prayer, the power of the Holy Spirit and the knowledge of God and his word. If this doesn’t make sense to you, I ask that you go to the back of the book and work through the Basics Bible Study there first.

If you’ve never thought much about "spiritual warfare", you’re destined to learn the hard way. Study the scriptures, as if your life depends upon knowing them! Pray and ask God to help you see the unseen battles you’re in. In fact, parents who’ve read "THIS MEANS WAR" suggest you stop and pray right now; ask God to help you make it past the diversions and finish reading this book.

When you read the Gospel accounts in the Bible, you’ll see that each time Jesus went in to a town or region, he did two things the same, regardless of where he was. Do you know what they were?

Have you ever known anyone who was sick? That’s a ridiculous question, but we must wake up and realize that harassment, oppression and possession by evil spirits are just as common as physical sickness. If Satan went after even Jesus, he won’t leave you alone. Once you see this, you’ll be ready for the attacks you and your family are already experiencing.

In regards to adoption, understand that (in most cases) Satan has captured the biological parents of these "adoptable children" through lies and sin. He’s already destroyed their families (and often they themselves) through sin. Now he intends to destroy their children. You’re on the offensive. You want to enter Satan’s territory and walk away with (what he views as) his property. Don’t think he’ll let you take them without a fight. In many cases, you may be trying to adopt a child whose biological family has experienced centuries of darkness and possession.

Satan will attack you individually and as a family. Be prepared (put on the full armor of God) and you can stand; be caught off-guard and he’ll damage your family, your witness and your threat to his kingdom. The rest of this chapter will supply you with practical tips, before we get into the issues and challenges typical with adoptable children.

Ready? Please take this seriously and beware of these things in your life!

These are some common ways he specifically attacks Moms:

He’ll make you sick and tired to cripple you as a mother.

He’ll try to isolate you from other godly women by keeping you away from church, Bible studies and other times of fellowship.

He’ll send worldly people to teach you lies, telling you they’re the latest and greatest methods to help you raise children.

If you aren’t careful, your eyes will be taken off of Jesus and placed on your ill health, your inability to see results with the children and an ever increasing desire to learn more new and improved ideas for parenting these kids. Instead of reading the Bible and seeking God, you’ll begin to look to those with an ungodly world view for help and answers. Instead of spending time nurturing your relationship with your husband (this is the backbone of the family!) your attention and energy will all go to the child or children.

These are some common ways Satan specifically attacks Dads:

He’ll try to keep you away from your family, so they’re not protected, encouraged or taught through you. This often comes in the guise of a "better job" offer, more hours at work, or a job that makes you so tired you’re hardly awake, let alone praying fervently for your family.

He’ll try to keep you away from church, Bible studies and other times of fellowship with godly men; he wants you isolated so you’re easier to defeat and so you’re not encouraging others.

He’ll tempt you to let your guard down in terms of morality: he’ll say its okay to expose yourself to questionable TV shows, movies, magazines, games, conversations etc. It starts mild, and then progresses as you become dull and desensitized. He’s waiting until you start allowing lust to rule your mind and then he’ll send real temptations into your life, pushing for you to fall into sin. If you fall, you’ll either confess (and the family will be damaged or destroyed) or you’ll begin to hide the truth of your sin. If you’re lying and hiding your sin, you’ll be separated from God and his power, and your trust and relationship with your spouse will become diseased and may eventually die.

While the above is going on, Satan will be whispering things to your spouse, telling both truths (about the things you’re doing wrong) and lies, trying to drive a wedge between you.

Yes, these things happen to all believers, but the intensity increases when you involve yourself in ministry – the battle for souls. I can’t stress how important this is to understand. In my twenty+ years as a believer I’ve seen Satan step up his attack on every believer who decided to get involved in ministry! Many very publicly fell, others more privately. Again and again families were destroyed, ministries dissolved.

If you don’t prepare yourself and guard against these things, you’ll fall into a trap. Once you’ve fallen, unless you repent and confess your sins to God and to the person you’ve wronged, you’ll remain trapped. The power of the Holy Spirit will leave you; you’ll stop praying for your family, you’ll become a poor example or worse and the children will no longer have a covering of spiritual protection.

Here’s a note just for Dads: don’t think that you’re "supposed to be" the spiritual leader of the family. Realize this: whether you’re falling or standing, you already are the spiritual leader. Where you let yourself go, Satan will assume permission to take your children also.

Just as in the Vietnam War, American soldiers were unprepared when the enemy sent little children into their camps carrying grenades, Satan uses needy children to carry a bomb into the Christian family. The child is a victim, but so is the family, especially if they’re not prepared to defend against the attack.

Some of the very common baggage needy children come with are:

I pray that after reading this, you still want to adopt. As a Christian on the offensive, you’re marked by the enemy. There’s a price on your head – a bulls-eye on your forehead, if you will – and you cannot skip through life humming there’s a blue bird on my shoulder anymore. Yet I pray this information will not discourage you, but will make you more determined to fight for the lives of the helpless. This fight can be won! How do we win the fight?

By submitting to God.

CHAPTER TWO

Now for the GOOD NEWS:

We are more than conquerors, when FIGHTING BACK in the spirit.

A good friend of ours wrote a song that I think really applies here. One line says this:

"Lord, you never left me. But I fell behind."

Nothing and no one can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus. But can we be separated from Jesus? Surely his love for us will always remain, but scripture is very clear that yes, we can be defeated. We can turn back, fall away or "fall behind" when walking with the Lord. We must make a constant effort to stay in step with the Spirit.

Determine to fight back: Get up, work hard, smile, sing praises, pray for your family and act like a nice parent even when you aren’t feeling nice. Especially when you aren’t feeling nice!

Get suspicious. Why is Satan trying to slow you down and make you ineffective now? Suspect he’s planning an attack on your children or other loved ones and doesn’t want you awake, alert and involved. Pray that God will fill you with his Holy Spirit; ask him to protect your family. Ask God for the strength to drag yourself around on your family’s behalf if that’s what it takes.

(When the illness tactic doesn’t stop you, Satan usually stops attacking there and moves on to something else.)

Determine to guard your health and stay off mood or mind altering medicines whenever possible. Stay alert! Even prescription drugs very often cause depression and worse side effects; they interfere with your ability to think clearly and make wise choices. They have the same effect on children, and special needs children can have intensified reactions to even over the counter medications. Ask God to heal you and show you how to use prevention to protect your health.

When you desire to let God live through you and use you to set people free from Satan’s hold, the Holy Spirit will prompt you to get involved in a Bible teaching church and other fellowship groups or ministries. You’ll know you’re following God’s lead (and that Satan is trying to stop you) when something like this happens when you try to attend:

Determine to resist Satan’s tricks by going to church (or Bible study etc) anyway!

Then hit the road and don’t stop for anything. Laugh when your hair starts sticking up, your breath suddenly gets really stinky, you have gas, the driver in the car behind you honks for no reason (or maybe they don't like the duct tape), the driver in front of you flips you off, the kids drop the baby’s diaper bag out the window and you get a flat tire. You’re on a mission; pray that God will help you get there, and don’t let anything distract you.

Once you’ve made up your mind and pushed past the distractions a few times, you’ll see how predictable they are and their intensity might decrease. The enemy will leave . . . and look for a more opportune time.

I see these possible "fiery darts" as a warning bell, or the sounds of a snarling guard dog. I’ve just gotten too close to someone whom Satan is attacking or guarding fiercely. Because the spirit of God lives in me, I’m a powerful threat. Satan wants to push me away from that person as far and fast as he can. I suspect he’s flooding my mind, hoping I’ll let it catch fire (and then be guilty) or that I’ll just feel guilty and run away.

If this happens, ask God to forgive you for the thoughts in your head (in case they originated from your own sinful nature), to clean your mind and heart – and then go on the offensive! Begin to fervently pray for the person that Jesus will set them free from Satan’s grasp. Pray that they’ll be lifted out of the pit they’re in, and that if unbelievers, their eyes will be opened to the Good News of Christ’s redeeming work to save them. Anytime the thoughts return, pray for the person again; pray and ask God what he wants you to do. Put this person on a prayer list and if God opens a door, share the hope that’s inside you. But never put yourself in a position that could be misinterpreted, or lead to sin. (For one example: do not spend time alone with someone of the opposite sex, nor enter into a friendship of this type. Even if it doesn’t turn into something ugly, it looks bad, can be misinterpreted and used to hurt people. Refer them to a godly person of their own gender for friendship and counsel.)

Know that Satan sees your family unit as a threat, so he’s trying to separate you. Determine that you will fight back: Refuse to conform to how the world lives, with bigger houses, shinier cars and more extracurricular activities. Don’t love money and become a slave to your job. Don’t remain trapped in debt because you’re greedy for more stuff. Don’t waste valuable family time entranced by television, movies, computer games and books. Protect your family from the influence of these things, which are usually pretty packaging on an ugly and ungodly/false message. Spend time alone with your family, getting to know them; listen to your spouse and children and share your heart with them daily.

Every time I believe the Holy Spirit is leading me to do something, I’m suddenly bombarded by people who warn me not to do it! They’re so convincing with their horror stories and worldly wisdom. They’re usually either beloved relatives, or accomplished colleagues.

But isn’t it suspicious that they always rush to the scene, and care so much about what you do, just when you’ve decided to follow God’s lead?

Beware of ungodly counsel. If you decide to be led by the Holy Spirit, know that Satan will send people to insist you take another path! How can you tell the difference between godly counsel, wisdom born from experience, and ungodly counsel?

Examine the lifestyle of the messenger & foundation of the message:

Is this messenger led by the Spirit? Do they pray for you before sharing advice? (If not led by the Holy Spirit, know that they are extremely vulnerable to being used and led by a darker spirit.)

Examine the underlying belief or the origins of their counsel. (If the origins are contrary to scripture, the counsel will be ungodly.)

Godly counsel will always line up with the entirety of scripture. Not just with one or two twisted scriptures. Godly counsel usually comes through a wise, spiritually mature person who lives what they preach and prays for you. Here are examples of other types of counsel:

If Uncle Fred, an unbeliever who builds homes, teaches you to use a level when framing a house, this is probably wisdom born from experience. Like the rules of gravity, the rules of straight and crooked walls remain the same regardless of morality or spiritual beliefs.

But if Aunt Martha teaches you that spanking is child abuse and will result in a ruined psyche, this is ungodly counsel. Why? This is the opposite of what the Bible says. Also, the root of this teaching is found in psychology, and more specifically a belief system that says children are mammals, not governed by any laws of God (because God does not exist) and we’re not under the curse of sin. The belief system assumes that children are born full of goodness and if left to themselves, will develop into perfectly wonderful beings. (Psychology also has over 200 contradicting schools of thought, which change constantly – but we’ll save that discussion for another book.)

Rather, we know the Bible teaches that all children are born with a sinful nature, that foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, that the rod of discipline will drive it from him, and will save him.

Test everything, with the Bible as your . . . well, Bible! The Sanballats and Tobiahs are very convincing and discouraging, (read the book of Nehemiah for a refresher on these characters) but if we’re led by the Holy Spirit, statistics don’t apply to us. The Old Testament is filled with illustrations of how God led his people in one miraculous victory after another, when they remained faithful and allowed him to lead.

God is in control. Therefore, victory doesn’t come from our own strength, clever choices or schemes. We’re not defeated by outward influences or circumstances.